How to Build Self-Confidence

As you look around at your fellow human beings, you will find it hard to ignore the fact that very few people are happy, fulfilled and leading purposeful lives. Most of them seem unable to cope with their problems and the circumstances of daily living. The majority, settling for the average, have resigned themselves to “just getting by.” Resignation to mediocrity has become a way of life. As a result, feelings of inadequacy cause them, quite humanly, to blame society, people, circumstances, and surrounding conditions for their failures and disappointments. The idea that people and things control their lives is so thoroughly ingrained in their thinking that they normally will not respond to logical arguments that prove otherwise. William James, the eminent philosopher and psychologist, once observed that, “The greatest discovery of our age has been that we, by changing the inner aspects of our thinking, can change the outer aspects of our lives.” Wrapped up in this brief statement is the dynamic truth that we are not victims, but co-creators in the building of our lives and the world around us. Or, as another sage puts it, “We aren’t what we think we are, but what we think, we are!”

THE SHEEP STATE OF MIND

A lesson that has taken us far too long to learn is that the opposite of bravery is not cowardliness, but conformity. You may have spent valuable, irreplaceable years trying to fit into the parade only to learn, too late, that you will never fit it. What makes us follow each other like sheep? It is because we are trying to conform to the majority.

It’s time to break out of this sheep state of mind and stop punishing ourselves because we are different from our family, friends or anyone else for that matter. Much of our suffering can be eliminated if we refuse to let our life be marred by conformity. To think that our life is controlled in any way by another individual, group, or society imposes a condition of mental slavery which makes us a prisoner by our own decree. Our thoughts become the blueprint, which attract from our subconscious mind all the elements that go into fulfilling our concepts, whether they are positive or negative. What we have in our life right now is the outward manifestation of what has been going on in our mind. We have literally attracted everything that has come into our life, good or bad, happy or sad, success or failure. This includes all facets of our experience including business, marriage, health or personal affairs. Think about it! Your surroundings, your environment, your world all outwardly picture what you think about inwardly. By discovering why you are the way you are, you also find the key to being what you want to be.

You can read my previous article on How to build self-confidence.

THE POWER TO CHANGE

Shakespeare said, “We know what we are, but not what we may be.”

Does this describe you? Do you concentrate on your limitations, your failures, your blundering way of doing things, seldom stopping to think of what you might be? The problem is that you have been conditioned since childhood by false concepts, values and beliefs that have prevented you from realizing how truly capable and unique you are. By virtue of your role as co-creator of your life, you have the power to change any of its aspects. Every great teacher has come to the same conclusion: you cannot look to someone outside yourself to solve your problems. As the Master Teacher reminded us so often, “The Kingdom of Heaven is within.” It is not in some distant land, and it is not up in the sky. Buddha came to the same realization when he said, “Be a lamp unto your own feet and do not seek outside yourself.” Self-healing powers are within. Health, happiness, abundance and peace of mind are natural states of being once you break the bonds of negative thinking.

Unless you perceive your own true worth as a person, you cannot come close to achieving total self-confidence. Only to the degree that you can truly acknowledge your own unique importance will you be able to free yourself from self-imposed limitations.

Yes, I said self-imposed! Our parents, our family, our boss or society didn’t do it to us. We do it to ourselves by allowing others to control our life.

Unless you get rid of your guilt feelings and cease belittling yourself for your imagined inadequacies, you will be one of those who continue the fruitless struggle to attain total self-confidence and personal freedom. In order to be truly free, compassionate, warm and loving, you must first begin by understanding and loving yourself. You have been told to, “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” but until you have a full appreciation of who and what you are, it defrauds both you and your neighbor!

FULFILLING YOUR NEEDS FIRST

One of the principal requisites for change and a self-confident personality is to satisfy your own needs first. On the surface this may appear selfish, but let’s remind ourselves that only when we have done our best to make the most of ourselves can we be of greatest service to our families, friends, coworkers, communities, etc.

Many people use the philosophy of service to others first as an escape from taking responsibility for changing their own lives. They say that their husband or wife must come first; their boyfriend or girlfriend; their church, family or the world must come first. This is nothing but self-deception. An example of this kind of behavior is the person who buries himself sacrificially in a commendable project with missionary zeal when, in truth, he can’t face and eliminate his own problems.

You can’t change the world, but you can change yourself. The only way the human situation will improve is for each individual to take charge of his or her life. The time has come for you to stop everything else and give total priority to your needs first. This is the only way you will ever be free. Physical slavery is a punishable crime but, far worse, is mental slavery for the punishment is, as Descartes put it so well, “A life of quiet desperation.”

COME ABOARD! IT’S TAKING-OFF TIME!

You are about to start on an adventure that will reward you for the rest of your life. You are going to learn new ways to break the bonds of limitation that have been holding you back.

If you find yourself in a situation where you seem to be going nowhere, feel inadequate and unable to face life with enthusiasm and confidence, this book is for you. If you are disgusted with mediocrity, disappointed by past results and not content to just drift through life, these pages offer you an alternative. If you will allow yourself to be open and receptive to new concepts, values and beliefs, you will discover why you should and how you can systematically reorganize your thought processes to awaken THE NEW YOU.

Once you master these principles, you will have more happiness, more love, more freedom, more money and more self-confidence than you ever thought possible. Nothing is more rewarding in life than releasing your unlimited potential and leading a creative, purposeful life. It makes no difference that who you are, what you do or what your life situation is, YOU can achieve total self-confidence. And the approach is not nearly as difficult as you might think!

21 DAYS CAN MAKE A DIFFERNCE

Let’s slip backstage for a moment and steal a glimpse at a simple but very effective learning technique. It’s called THE 21-DAY HABIT.

It has been determined that it takes approximately twenty-one days to break an old, destructive habit or form a new, positive habit. It will take you at least that long too fully absorb the material in this book. Make no mistake. You will understand it immediately, but intellectual understanding alone is not enough to make the necessary changes. The real thrill comes when, at last, you KNOW it.

You must go from initial understanding to knowing. In order to know something, it must become a part of your thinking, feeling, actions and reactions. And this takes time. So don’t make the mistake of just reading the book once and saying, “I know it!” You won’t “know it” until it has been absorbed into your consciousness and becomes a new habit pattern.

Put everything aside for a while and apply your full concentration to what you are reading. The hours spent in changing your negative, self-defeating habit patterns to positive, constructive ones will be a small investment compared to the rewards of a lifetime of accomplishment and freedom.

If at times I speak forcefully it is to cut through the heavy layers of mental resistance and reach a place within you where you already “know”. Where truth is recognized and heard. When this happens, there will be a feeling of heightened aliveness as something within you says, “Yes, I do know this is true.”

You can read my previous article on How to build self-confidence.

To obtain the best results, read this book through once and familiarize yourself with the entire scope of the material. Then return to the specific chapters that are most meaningful to you. Let the principles sink deeply into your consciousness and, most importantly, ACT upon them without delay. Now, if you are ready, let’s get going!

This book is going to change your life.....
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READ, 
BE INSPIRED, 
CHANGE YOUR LIFE, 
OVERCOME YOUR FEARS; 
BREAK YOUR HABITS
BE SUCCESSFUL AND HAPPY
BUILD YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE